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My Vaginal Secret
I, Joseph Bitch, am obviously a badass. My ass is so bad, I can't even sit down!! You may not know much about me, but i'mm here to tell you that I will not rape you in your sleep. I will wait til you wake up. i am going to explan to you a very simple consept: I ejaculate sperm whales out of my moby dick While this may seem shocking, I can assure you that I have almost STD known to man and about 28 STDs known to plant life, and ejaculating the sperm whales sommemhow alleviates the pain greatly. I've had transplants from 12 different kings of great nations to give me my intensely sexually arousing appearance; there's no way this level of "OMG BONER!" could have been an accident. Marry Yo Mama See now, theree are rumors going around that I am a homosexual. I am here to address these rumors. That Is the point of this page. The lemon is open after spring breakk When I was a greek warrior, I ate every ounce of human flesh i couldd possible find. THen I stuck my big toe in my rectum and bounced up and down on it for about 12 seconds and changed my spouse's diaper with my mouth. It was only tasty when I was really ''horny, but I can only get horny after watching animal planet for likke halff a day ay Pants Ants Fants Fuck FUCK Autofellatio zombie Obviously, I nood to stick my balls in a blender to be able to sleep atta nightht. Cuz if not, there's no possible way of knowing what i'll dream about. but i'v e discovered a secret... '''A VAGINAL SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!!' 'JO FACE FOR THE WIN' TRY TO CENSOR ME???!! I'LL GET A TESTICULAR TRANSPLANT WITH YOU!! AND I STICK MY BALLS IN A BLENDER, I DON'T THINK YOU WANT THAT!!!!!!!! BEEYOTCH!! Althought I will admit, I have a dick growing from my tongue. Why The Anus Buzzes in Your Ears Evil Q. Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet Two reasons why a blonde can't drive: 1. she can't reach the steering wheel from the back seat. 2. she thinks the steering wheels a clothes rack. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man can forget his past mistakes, there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things. A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people. Women think all beer is the same. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple? Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?' The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?' Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I cdo?' Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I cWomen will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I c Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!' A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one." The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me and boats make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I can't do it. Imagine all the work involved. All the piling to hold up the highway needed and all the pavement. Ask for something else." "Well," the man said. "I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with. Basically, what makes them tick." The genie considered this for a couple of minutes and said, "So, do you want that road two lanes or four?" One bright, beautiful Sabbath morning everyone in the tiny Midwestern town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started the towns people were sitting in their pews when suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate. Soon everyone evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew. He was not moving and seemed oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now, this confused and irritated the Devil a little bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" "Yep, sure do," replied the elderly gentleman. Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't ," the gentleman replied. Satan, a little more perturbed at this, asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years." In a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers, "Here. Iron this." This blonde went on a tour of an alligator swamp and then she decided to go buy some original alligator skin boots. She went to every store but they were all to expensive. She asked the assistant if there were any cheaper ones but he said no. So she said," I'll just go make my own" Later that day the store assitant was driving down the road, when he saw the blonde. She was up to her waist in the swamp wrestling with a 9 ft alligator. He was amazed. She dragged the alligator out of the water, flipped him over by the other 3 alligators and screamed,"This ones not wearing any boots either". Strategie Have you ever watched Desperate Housewives? An article by I'm Jo Face